The Ellesmere Port News Team met Boris Johnson yesterday evening to talk about Ellesmere Port Library turning in to a corner shop, where many can shop again for 10p and get Freddos at a reasonable price.
Mr Johnson, ex prime minster of the U.K., told us this was a fantastic idea and asked if it would be okay if we also turned Civic Hall in to another vape shop, with an ASDA next door. Of course, the EP News team said this was a brilliant idea, and plans are set to happen on the 1st April Fools Day 2026.
EPN are currently working hard with Boris to shut down the Westminster Bridge permanently and turn it in to an extension of the Boat Museum. Boris said he couldn't do that but could definitely turn it in to a Thomas the Tank Engine mural.
Boris is offering Justin Madders £10,000 to take over his role as MP of Ellesmere Port & Brombrough so that he can make us the #1 newspaper in Cheshire and the cabinet members for 'Corner Shops & Fairer Futures'.
Mr Johnson would like to make clear that he never met us, and he loved talking about corner shops and how expensive Freddos have become, he would also love to make clear that he never offered Justin Madders £10,000, instead he offered him a karaoke night at a local pub, asda parking ticket & potatoes from Iceland.
This article is not to be took seriously. All is lies, and we unfortunately never met the big BJ, and he will not be our MP.